The second season finally came out of our favorite serial killer binge: Mindhunter. By now, you’re more than familiar with Bill Tench and Holden Ford, right? Maybe you’re Team Bill and maybe you’re Team Holden, or maybe you realize that they both have their triumphs and downfalls. However, it is safe to say that Bill has some of the best quotes - whether they are sarcastic and hilarious or wise and deep. So to celebrate this awesome character, we made a list of Bill’s 10 best quotes from the second season.
While you now sit patiently awaiting Mindhunter season 3, we hope that these hilarious Bill quotes gets you through it. We can always count on this man to lighten up the brutal scenes, and we’re counting on seeing more of his sarcastic wit - especially if it’s directed at Holden.
No Time For Manson
This quote isn’t exactly the most profound or wise moment of Bill’s, but we thought we’d kick things off with the agent’s blunt and strong nature. He definitely isn’t letting Manson get the best of him, and in turn, he’s more than willing to insult one of the world’s most famous serial killers about his height. That’s pretty gutsy given the infamy that comes with the Manson name, and that’s why we loved every second of it.
“You f***ing midget!”
More Hate for Manson
It’s no secret that Charles Manson got under Bill’s skin, and Bill doesn’t hold back from using even more profanity and insults against the guy, either. One of our favorite lines though is after Holden and Bill leave the facility, and Holden gets angry at Bill for letting it get personal. Bill’s response is, well, pretty clear-cut. Again, given who Manson is and what he did in real life, hearing Bill openly disrespect the cult leader was equal parts hilarious and cathartic.
“The Guru of Munchkin-Land can fuck off.”
Social Butterfly
Are we not all Bill in this scenario? After totally rejecting Nancy’s barbecue and the fact that he should mingle with people (clearly, he’s tired of hanging out with people from his 65 hours of work and no rest), it only takes a bit more persuasion from Nancy. There’s nothing two coolers of beer can’t fix, right?
Nancy: “Mingle. These are nice people.”
Bill: “I worked 65 hours this week.”
Nancy: “I got two coolers of beer.”
Bill: “Consider me a social butterfly.”
Boy Wonder
When Wendy questions why Bill never told Gunn about Holden’s panic attack, his response is pretty hilarious. Despite being wickedly sarcastic and funny, it’s also pretty accurate and honest. Bill is more than straightforward, and honesty is definitely something he doesn’t struggle with. Luckily for us, it’s usually pretty entertaining as proven by this nugget of truth and sarcasm.
“He’s based his vision and his largess on the Holden Ford miracle. I couldn’t tell him Boy Wonder has the vapors.”
Keeping It Real
When Gregg questions the racial motive of William Hance, Bill finds it necessary to cut to the chase about his confusion. Of course, he uses a pretty sarcastic and undermining tone, and again, it’s undeniably funny. We now know what Gregg was really trying to get at, but it’s definitely justified for Bill to have been confused what exactly Gregg was confused about.
“Really, Gregg? What part of Karen Hickman being white and William Henry Hance being black are you unsure of?”
Eight Hour Rule
We all have an eight hour rule when we’re sleeping, right? When Holden calls Bill late at night to share some new information about the killer, Bill is understandably less than enthused. Again, there’s nothing really special about this quote, but it still made all of us laugh and it’s pretty encompassing of Bill’s character. Well, he is right, is he not? It’s probably going to be the same in eight hours, after he sleeps.
“If he’s still fuckin’ with us in eight hours, tell me about it.”
Telling it Like it Is
This quote is a whole lot of built up frustration and impatience, and it’s all directed at Holden, and rightfully so. Holden, for once, was left pretty speechless after this one, and can you blame him? That was quite the haul, Bill. He must’ve been thinking about that one for awhile.
“So you want to help me? Show some fucking professionalism so we don’t look like we got off a plane with a suspect we’re tailoring all of our insights to support. And you look anxious. Take a fucking Valium.”
Not a Good Analogy
While Bill has a lot of good analogies, he also knows how to pick out the bad ones. When Slaton discretely links this profiling of a black man to Martin Luther King Jr., Bill is the first to say that he’s pretty sure this guy that lives in his parents’ house and has no real job (and is probably slaying young boys for kicks) isn’t exactly the same as the King for more reasons than one.
“With all respect, sir, Wayne Williams is no Dr. King.”
The Irishman Analogy
As the season closes, we get some more of the brilliantly sarcastic Bill we know and love. When Holden is confused that Wayne doesn’t perfectly match his profile, Bill tries to comfort him by saying that well, some Irishmen drink only milk. This is pretty funny, and while Holden doesn’t exactly feel comforted, hey, he’s right.
Holden: “But other things don’t add up.”
Bill: “Like what?”
Holden: “Family background. No absent father. No signs of a domineering or abusive mother.”
Bill: “I met an Irishman once who only drank milk.”
New Nickname
This will probably be our favorite quote, as it brings us right back to the hilarious and sarcastic dichotomy between Holden and Bill. We’re pretty sure that Holden doesn’t want to be called Tin Lizzie, but we’ll definitely support it from here on out. Bill’s sarcasm and humor always comes at the right time, even amidst the horrors that they deal with. It’s pretty refreshing, and it’s impossible not to love his wit.
Bill: “What is Model T?”
Holden: “It’s a code name for Ford.”
Bill: “How about I call you Tin Lizzie?”
